


It's Complicated

by Xenikka



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series
Genre: Humor, M/M, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1380241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenikka/pseuds/Xenikka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When there are 7 personalities but only 4 physical bodies, relationships can get complicated. When those personalities also include an assorted bunch of weirdos, assholes and psychopaths (or all three at once), things can also get weird.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: M for mature themes, but no actual sex in this one.  
> Warning: Contains implied BDSM and non-con  
> Pairings: Puzzleshipping (Yami x Yugi), Prideshipping (Kaiba x Yami), Heartshipping (Yugi x Ryou Bakura), Thiefshipping (Bakura x Marik), and Psychoshipping (Yami Marik x Bakura).  
> Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh is not mine.

 

* * *

Wednesday, 7.00 pm.

 

Ryou stood in the middle of the room and announced - apparently to thin air, "Ok it's 7 o'clock, it's your turn."

His body seemed to shudder slightly, his expression changing from open and innocent to something more sinister and predatory. Chunks of his thick white hair lifted into a rather unnatural looking position, and he growled "Finally. I wondered if you might 'forget', and force me to do something... regrettable."

Ryou's translucent spirit appeared in the air in front of his body, and spoke to the other spirit currently occupying it. "Regrettable? I don't think so. You'd enjoy it, you sicko."

Bakura grinned wickedly. "Of course I would! You wouldn't though. At all."

"Whatever" Ryou retorted snippily. "Anyway I gave it back on time, so there's no problem, right?"

Bakura looked over the body he'd just taken over, and brought up an arm to sniff at his shirt. He immediately glared at Ryou. "So, you've been with Yugi again, have you? I thought I told you..."

"Hey!" Ryou interrupted. "It's MY body, I can see whoever I like in it!"

"Ha! Your body indeed. I took it, it's mine by rights. Not my fault if you're too weak to stop me. You're just lucky I let you have any time in it at all, I wouldn't have, only I got sick to bloody death of your constant pathetic whining and pleading. Anyway, I just don't understand what you see in him."

"He's nice! And friendly. We play games together," Ryou protested, innocently.

"Oh yes, _games_ , is that what you're calling it? The kind of _games_ where I find lube in my arsehole when you give my body back?" the spirit demanded irritably.

Ryou's spirit form blushed. "It's not _your_ arsehole, it's mine!"

Ignoring this, Bakura snarled "I mean, come on, can't you even have the self respect to top?"

"We take turns!" protested Ryou.

Bakura snorted. "Turns! Bloody hell, everything's all flowers and sunshine and sharing and all that bollocks with you, isn't it."

Ryou crossed his arms huffily. "There's nothing wrong with being fair. Besides, how can you criticise me for what I do in my own time, when you're the one whose idea of a funny prank is to drop me back in my body for a few seconds while you're in the middle of... of _doing_ your complete idiot of a boyfriend!"

Bakura sniggered. "Yes, that is awfully funny..."

"It is not!" Ryou shrieked. "It's just awful! He nearly noticed last time! Next time you do it, I'm just going to stop, and tell him what you've been up to. I bet _he_ won't think it's funny either!"

Bakura's smile faded abruptly. "Ok fine, I'll stop, I'll stop..."

But Ryou was on a roll. "And how often do you have to have sex with him anyway? I'm tired all the time when you let me have my body, sometimes I'm so tired I can't even..." He trailed off and blushed again.

"What," Bakura chuckled, "can't you even get it up for your pathetic wimpy boyfriend? Hah! Maybe that's because you don't have any passion in your relationship."

"Passion?" spat Ryou, "Is that what you call it? Well if passion means cutting your boyfriend up so much that you end up with blood under your fingernails, which you then make _me_ clean up, then no, I don't want any passion in my relationship! You should be kinder to Marik..."

"Oh would you stop going on about Marik already," snapped Bakura irritably. "If he doesn't like it he can say something."

"But you keep gagging him!"

"Enough of this, I'm going out! And you should shut up and count yourself lucky I let you have any time in your body at all." Exasperated, Bakura reached up and wiped a hand over his face. "And what the bloody hell's this? Massage oil? Ugh. For god's sake clean up after yourself before you give me my body back."

"No," said Ryou. "It's not massage oil, it's a healing salve, I got it from Yugi after I tripped over and and landed on my face. You should take some with you in case Marik wants...." He was cut off as Bakura grabbed him, and shoved him back into the wall. Once again, Ryou cursed the cruel twist of fate that made the two of them able to touch each other even when one of them was incorporeal. He breathed a sigh of relief as Bakura scowled at his watch, then contented himself with only a final glare before spinning around, and simultaneously slamming the apartment door and shoving Ryou's spirit back into the ring, out of sight.

 

* * *

A few days earlier, Sunday, 6.00pm.

 

Yugi was sitting at his desk, finishing his math homework when Yami materialized behind him, draping his arms across Yugi's shoulders and giving him a big hug. Yugi smiled broadly, and rested his head back against his other self. Once again, Yugi felt a wave of gratitude that whatever power that allowed each of them to materialize in spirit form also allowed them to touch each other.

"Ok, I know you're going out soon, just let me finish this last question, ok?" Yugi murmured.

Yami leaned forward to peer at the book and said "Seventeen." Yugi blinked for a moment, and then said "Oh is that the answer? Thanks!" and scribbled it down onto the page. He turned round to look at Yami, and Yami pounced on him, kissing him thoroughly and enthusiastically. Eventually Yugi managed to break away from the kiss, and sighed. "You're going to go and see Kaiba again, aren't you," he accused.

"Yes," Yami confessed. "Oh, don't pout like that, aibou, you know why I do it! We agreed that we both have certain needs that the other can't entirely satisfy" he said, appeasingly. "You did also agree that I could let Kaiba do these things, after all."

"But can't you get him to be gentler?" asked Yugi.

Yami laughed, "Hah! I'm sorry, get Kaiba... to be gentler? You have _met_ Kaiba before?"

"Yes, yes, I know" said Yugi, "But come on, it's getting ridiculous! Last time I couldn't sit down all day, and the marks went all the way down my legs! Ryou worries about me too."

Yami apologised, "I know aibou, and I _am_ sorry." But he couldn't hide a smirk as he continued, "But you should have seen what I did to Kaiba the week before. Besides, it's his turn, you know it's important to take turns, right?" Yugi sighed, and nodded. Yami continued, "Anyway, I don't criticise _your_ other relationship, you know..."

"Yes you do, you do it all the time!" protested Yugi.

"Well, a little light mockery maybe. But I can't help myself! He's just so... so... _British_! He won't stop offering us tea. I don't like tea," Yami pouted.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you like tea. I like tea, and we have the same tastebuds!" snapped Yugi.

"I can't explain it, I just don't like it." Yami said, sulkily. Yugi sighed, and relented.

"Just... please try not to get hurt _too_ badly? For me? Coach saw my legs the other week and he asked if Grandpa was abusing me! Grandpa! The very idea!"

Yami looked guilty for a moment, and then smiled. "Alright, I was going to surprise you with this later, but I'll tell you now. When you first complained about this, I asked Kaiba if he could get the doctors in his medical castle to formulate some kind of salve..."

Yugi interrupted incredulously, "Wait, wait, he calls it his medical _castle_? Seriously?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "Oh God, I know. Don't get me started. He thinks it sounds cooler and when I pointed out that actually it sounds completely retarded, he said 'Screw you, it's my money and I can call it whatever I like'"

"Sounds like Kaiba" agreed Yugi.

"Indeed. Anyway, he says they've finished making up some kind of cream with a special formula that should take away both the pain and the marks. He's going to give it to me tonight." He smiled indulgently at Yugi. "Happy now, aibou?"

"Yes! Very!" exclaimed Yugi, brightly. "In that case, have fun with Kaiba!" he replied, grinning as he relinquished control of his body to Yami.

Yami hopped down the stairs with the same grin plastered across his face. Tonight was going to be fun. The limo was probably already waiting for him downstairs, and after a quick and luxurious car trip, he'd be at Kaiba's mansion ready for the fun and games to begin.

As he pranced through the front door with a spring in his step, he saw that the limo had indeed already arrived. He opened the back door and slid onto the wide leather seat, only to find that tonight Kaiba was already in the car waiting for him. He shut the door and the limo pulled out, but as he turned to talk to Kaiba he was slammed up against the seat, one of Kaiba's hands wrapped around his neck.

"Yami." growled Kaiba.

"Kaiba." replied Yami evenly, as if they were both still relaxing in their respective seats.

"I hope you know how lucky you are that I'm such a nice guy," sneered Kaiba.

"Very lucky" said Yami, in a slightly strained voice.

"Hn. I can't believe that I've gone so soft, commissioning this ridiculous cream for your... for that little brat."

"I really do appreciate it, Seto," choked Yami, with the last of the air in his lungs. Kaiba abruptly let go, and Yami coughed a little. Suddenly, Kaiba's typical scornful expression transformed into a disturbing smile.

"Perhaps it's for the best anyway, after all, it's my turn, and now I can be as... enthusiastic as I like, without having to worry about you bitching at me afterwards."

Yami grinned widely. "Do your worst, Kaiba, I challenge you."

* * *

 Wednesday, 10.06 pm.

 

Bakura collapsed on top of Marik's back, and gasped for air for a minute. "Mmmphmmhm," said Marik, after a while.

"Oh right, sorry," said Bakura, and removed the gag and untied the ropes. They lay in a pile for a few minutes, and Bakura wondered if Marik would actually manage to refrain from saying it this time...

"I'm still not gay, you know," said Marik. Bakura rolled his eyes. Not this time, apparently.

"Of _course_ you're not," Bakura replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well it's not my fault I keep getting molested by a crazy British fruitcake," whined Marik.

"Oh no, that does sound awful," said Bakura, sarcastically. "I bet the crumbs must be very irritating."

"What?"

"....the crumbs. From the fruitcake."

"Oh, ha _HA_ " said Marik, bitchily. "No I meant _you_ , Bakura"

"Oh for God's sake, I _know_ you meant me, Marik. Ugh. Why did I take that gag back off?" Bakura grumbled.

"You always say that, stop being so mean!" Marik whined. Bakura smacked him on the ass and Marik reached over and returned the favour. To his surprise, Bakura winced and wriggled away. "What's the matter, Fluffy?"

"Oh, it's just my bloody landlord." groaned Bakura.

"Haha, no way, has he got himself a boyfriend?" laughed Marik.

"Yeah. Yugi, of all people."

There was a moment of silence, then Marik sat straight up in the bed and boggled at him. "WHAT?!?!?" he shrieked, "Your other self got himself fucked! by YUGI!? OUR SWORN ENEMY?!"

"What? Don't yell at me, I can't do anything about it, I had to agree to let him keep his body sometimes, he just wouldn't shut the hell up about it..." Bakura protested.

"I can't even believe it!" gasped Marik, slumping back onto the pillows and fanning himself with one hand. "I... I can't... can't... no..."

Bakura spun around, alarmed at how badly Marik was taking this. His eyes widened in sudden shock and recognition, and he tried to lunge off the side of the bed, only to be harshly yanked back by Melvin's sudden grip on his hair.

"Going somewhere?" asked the spirit, with an evil grin.

"Bollocks!" screamed Bakura with feeling, as Melvin grappled him and pinned him to the bed.

"Now now, Bakura!" Melvin chided. "That isn't very nice of you. You're not playing this game properly! Don't you know you're supposed to take turns?"

Bakura struggled and kicked for a little longer, but it was futile. He sighed, closed his eyes in resignation, and tilted his head back, giving his boyfriend's alter ego better access to his throat. He flinched at the sharp bite, and shivered as the blood ran down his collarbone. But he knew it was his fault, really- the damn ropes were there for a reason, he knew it was a risk to untie them, why had he done it? Why had he mentioned Yugi? He sighed again, and then gasped a little. Tonight was just going to be one of those nights, and he might as well just lie back and think of England until the good part started happening.

 

* * *

 Wednesday, 11.54 pm.

 

The door slammed again, and Ryou was startled out of what felt like a light sleep, and into his immaterial form. He was facing his body, and he could see the wince on Bakura's face, and the pained, hunched way he held their body. "Oh, you..."

"....Bastard!" he finished, from inside his body once more. "Aaaaaaarrrghh," he added, for good measure. "What the hell, did you get mauled by a tiger?!"

"Close enough," Bakura answered, looking immensely relieved to be back in spirit form and able to remove himself from the worst of the pain. "But before you say anything, just shut up and consider that I didn't make you experience the rest of it. I even did the walk of shame myself. So Shut. Up... And go and fetch that goddamn healing salve already."

 


End file.
